How to Have an Honest Conversation About an Unexpected Pregnancy with Your Partner

Facing an unexpected pregnancy can bring up a flood of emotions, and talking about it with your partner may feel overwhelming. You might wonder how they’ll react, whether they’ll understand, or how this conversation might affect your relationship.

It’s okay to feel uncertain. But avoiding the conversation won’t make the emotions disappear. Open, honest communication can bring clarity and connection, helping you both navigate this moment together.



If you’re unsure where to start, here’s how to prepare for an honest conversation about your pregnancy.

Reflect on Your Emotions First

Before opening up, take time to process your own emotions. You might feel a mix of complex emotions that can change suddenly and intensely. Whatever you're feeling, it’s valid. Understanding your emotions first will help you express them more clearly.

Consider asking yourself:

• What do I hope to share with my partner?
• What emotions are weighing on me the most?
• Am I seeking support, understanding, or specific input from them?

Journaling can be a helpful way to organize your thoughts before sharing them. If you’re not sure what to write, try the guided journaling exercises in Processing Dilemmas You’re Facing.

Choose the Right Time and Space

Difficult conversations require the right setting. Try to choose a time when you and your partner can talk without distractions. Privacy matters, too—this is a deeply personal conversation, and you deserve to feel safe and heard.

Some things to consider:

• Is this a time when we’re both calm and not rushed?
• Can we talk in a quiet space without interruptions?
• Would it help to set a time in advance so we’re both emotionally prepared?

If you’re feeling anxious about bringing up the conversation, take a moment to reflect in the session, Getting You Back in Control.

Speak Honestly and Gently

Honesty builds trust. Even if you’re unsure of your next steps, expressing your feelings openly can create a foundation for understanding. Some ways to begin:

• “I want to talk to you about something important. Can we sit down together?”
• “This is hard for me to say, but I need to share what I’m feeling.”
• “I don’t have all the answers, but I want to be open with you.”

Using “I feel” statements can help keep the conversation grounded in your emotions rather than assumptions about how they’ll react. For example:

• Instead of: “You never listen to me.”
• Try: “I feel really nervous about sharing this, but I need to talk to you.”

Even if emotions run high, choosing words that invite openness rather than defensiveness can make a big difference.

For additional help with structuring your thoughts, the session Sharing the News with Your Partner provides conversation starters to help you express yourself.

Prepare for Different Reactions

Your partner may need time to process the news. Just as you’ve had time to sit with your emotions, they might need space to do the same. Their initial reaction may not reflect how they truly feel in the long run.

Some possible responses include:

• Supportive and engaged: They may want to talk things through immediately and offer reassurance.
• Silent or withdrawn: They may need time to process before they can express their emotions.
• Uncertain or overwhelmed: They might feel caught off guard, just as you did at first.

If their reaction isn’t what you hoped for, take a deep breath. Instead of rushing to respond, consider saying:

• “I know this is a lot. We don’t have to figure everything out right now.”
• “I can see you’re processing. Let’s talk again when you’re ready.”

For more insight into handling different reactions, The Power of Sharing Openly with Your Partner explores how vulnerability can strengthen your bond.

Set the Stage for Ongoing Conversations

This isn’t just one conversation—it’s the start of many. Decisions and emotions may evolve, and making space for ongoing discussions will help both of you process together.

Consider asking:

• “When would you feel ready to talk about this again?”
• “How can we support each other through this?”
• “What do you need from me right now?”

It’s okay if the answers aren’t clear yet. The goal isn’t to have everything figured out immediately—it’s to build trust and understanding together.

If you’re struggling with what to say next, explore 7 Steps to Talking to Your Partner About Her Unexpected Pregnancy for ways to continue the dialogue.

Know When to Seek Support

If your partner isn’t responding in a way that feels safe or supportive, or if the conversation turns harmful, your well-being comes first. You deserve a space where your emotions and experiences are respected. 

If you feel unsafe—whether emotionally, verbally, or physically—it’s important to prioritize your safety. Feeling afraid to express yourself, experiencing intimidation, or sensing control in your relationship can be signs that the space isn’t safe for open communication. If this resonates with you, reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional can provide the support you need. 

If you are in immediate danger, you can call or text 988 to speak with someone at any time.



If you’re feeling unheard, consider seeking support from a trusted friend, counselor, or a resource like Better Clarity. You don’t have to go through this alone.

You’re Stronger Than You Think

Opening up about an unexpected pregnancy takes courage. Each time you share your emotions honestly, you’re building trust with your partner and creating a foundation for whatever comes next.

If you’re looking for guidance on how to start this conversation, The Power of Sharing Openly with Your Partner provides tools for honest communication and helps you process your emotions in a way that feels safe and empowering.