7 Steps to Talking to Your Partner About Her Unexpected Pregnancy

Life sometimes gives us surprises that we weren't ready for. One of these surprises might be when your partner tells you she's unexpectedly pregnant. It’s natural to feel a mix of strong feelings. But remember, you’re not alone. Talking to your partner about her pregnancy might feel like a tough conversation, but with a little compassion and understanding, you can navigate through it together. 

It can be tough to talk about big things when you have a lot of complex emotions. But don't worry, you’ve already taken a good first step by seeking guidance. Here are some tips to set you up for a kind, compassionate, and helpful conversation with your partner. 

Step 1: Find a Quiet and Comfortable Place

It's best to talk when things are calm. Take time to think about what's happening and how you feel, and plan a time to talk once you’ve had time to sort through your initial emotions. When you're ready, pick a quiet place where you both can sit down and talk without interruption. 

Make sure you're both comfortable and safe. It could be your living room, a nice spot in a park, or a quiet cafe. If you're not sure where to go, ask your partner where she'd like to go. The important thing is to be able to communicate openly and honestly without distractions.

Step 2: Be Kind and Compassionate

Remember, your partner might feel lots of different feelings, just like you might be. Talk with gentleness, and try to understand her feelings. This doesn't mean you can't say how you feel, too. Let her know you care about her feelings. Tell her you're committed to her, even as you talk about what might happen next. When you talk kindly, you can both feel supported and respected.

Step 3: Keep it Simple

Start the talk by saying what's happening, showing you're committed, and explaining that you want to understand. It's okay if you feel a little nervous – this is a big talk. You might say something like, "Hey, we need to talk about something important. We're pregnant, and I really want to know what you're thinking."

If your partner gets upset or doesn't want to talk, give her time and be there for her. If she's not ready, ask when she would like to talk and choose a time that works for both of you. This way, she feels respected and you can have a healthy conversation when she's ready.

Step 4: Listen to Her Thoughts and Feelings

Now, let your partner say how she feels.

Ask her how she's feeling about the pregnancy and listen carefully. Be a good, active listener and ask good, open-ended questions to understand better. Let her share her feelings without judging what she says. You can ask her to listen to your feelings too. Remember, both of your feelings matter equally.

Step 5: Share Your Thoughts

After you've listened to your partner, tell her your thoughts and feelings. Be honest about how you feel and what you think. Keep the talk open and kind. If you had an initial response to your partner telling you she was pregnant that isn’t what you are feeling once you’ve had time to reflect more, be sure to let your partner know what’s changed.

Step 6: Talk About Options

Now that you've both talked about your feelings, check in with each other. Keep it simple and clear. You could ask, “How are you doing? Do you want to keep talking or take a break?”

If you both want to talk about choices later, respect that and choose another time to talk. If you're ready to continue, you can explore your options together.

Step 7: Give Each Other Time

Big decisions take time. It's okay if you both need time to think. Let her know you're there when she's ready to talk more. Say something like, "Take all the time you need. We can talk when you're ready." This helps her trust that you care about her thoughts.

Talks like these happen in stages, as you both learn more and feel more. Everyone is different, so give each other time and grace.

Remember to Support Each Other

Talking about an unexpected pregnancy may feel overwhelming. Know that by talking lovingly and listening, you are actually moving further towards building a strong partnership. You're making a safe space for both of you to share your feelings. Keep talking, and know that support is available for you and your partner.

If you're looking for more guidance on understanding your feelings and supporting your partner through an unexpected pregnancy, visit Better Clarity. The resources there can help you both navigate this journey together and make decisions based on what’s important to you both. Remember, you're not alone – support is available every step of the way. Visit BetterClarity.com today to learn more.